The Demons in my Mind

Brightness and the dark are at war, both in a mood to kill. My eyes are numb,staring at nothingness for no apparent intellectual thrill. A reason to sleep and sometimes a reason to be awake. My dreams are no longer for sale, for I cease to buy.They do have fun,the demons in my mind.

As prisoners of affection and a victim of earthly laws; wonder why hearts are made. Nothing is permanent. I am told ,this is wisdom a man should learn. How love becomes a reason to smile and how sometimes it becomes a reason to cry. I am no longer perfect, for I cease to love. They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Fragments of hope here and there, the curve on my lips is very rare. How memories become a reason to rejoice and how sometimes they become a burden till eternity. My fantasies are no longer real, for I cease to imagine. They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Its an unending menace, their being demand a piece of my ever dwindling energy.Sanity sometimes prevails and the same sanity sometimes destroys what I am left with; my existence. My inspirations are no longer a treasure, for I cease to dream.They do have fun,the demons in my mind.

Laughing humanity, its tongue tied. A slave of expectation, my laurels are bartered. Truth always beseeching the truth. How conscience fears the silence and how sometimes silence fears the conscience.My life no longer gallops, for I cease to reign.They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

The heaviness in my head,the never ending cacophony.Shut up, Shut up; something shouts deep inside me. Numbness comes at a price and my feelings are way too poor.My logic is my biggest support and sometimes my biggest enemy. My thoughts are no longer my slaves, for I cease to rule. They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Satan whispers the tricks of the trade. Death, painless and quick in my fate. Its only the beginning that the end does fear. Funny are the laws of desire. I am no longer alive, for I cease to be immortal.They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Talk to me O` demons,I will tolerate you. Life provides an opportunity to triumph and sometimes an opportunity to lose. I am no longer human, for I cease to exist. I ain`t a demon though. I ain`t a demon though. Nevertheless have fun, O` the demons in my mind.

Tyranny of Ifs and Buts..Pun Intended

( see the previous post " Genius of the 'AND' " and " Tyranny of The 'OR' " )

Somebody commented on it about 'IF' producing similar effects. The below is my reply to it.

I do get it when you mention 'IF'. To be honest, we are limited not by our thoughts, but by the language of our thoughts. To be precise, we are limited by our own language.

To second what I said above; infants do what they want, what they will. They are instinctive and to top it, they are not limited. To think about it, they do not possess what we proudly flash as 'logic' and 'language'. Over the years, they become mature and GAIN the language of 'AND', 'OR', 'IF', 'BUT' and guess what, they LOSE what is innate; their fullest self expression. (The irony of 'gain' and 'lose'… if you got what I said. There is always a balance. You gain something to lose something. When I gain knowledge, I lose ignorance about that knowledge. When I gain money, I lose sleep over it. When I lose money, I gain sleeplessness :D, You don’t have a choice, you are sleepless anyways. )

Why we are the way we are is wholly a different topic all together. But to summarize it, every human being on planet earth wants to 'LOOK GOOD'. It is this factor that runs, which commands, all the facets of life.

We are slaves of what I call 'WHAT IS NOT' syndrome. We are slaves of money and ambition. Why? Is it because we do not possess it? As is said, every finish line is the beginning of a new race; there won’t be dearth of ambitions, unless you are a lunatic. As far as money is concerned, we tend to see” WHAT IS NOT" rather than "WHAT IS". It will never be enough.

Picture this.
=="IF I was handsome, I would have had a very beautiful wife"
=="IF I had studied well, I would have gotten a good job"
=="IF I was not a lunatic, I would have been a philosopher"...well, it does not matter much, philosophers are lunatics anyways.
==”IF everything goes fine, I will get what I want”

Now picture this,
==” I was handsome, BUT I did not get a beautiful wife”
==” I excelled in my studies, BUT I don’t have a good job”
==” I am not a lunatic, BUT I am not a philosopher”
==” Everything is fine, BUT I feel there is something missing”


Analyzing IFs and BUTs, they exist as a form in the past and in the future. "IF" is a tool for the mind to escape, to escape the inevitable. ”BUT” is a tool for the mind to invent, to invent reasons. They are very much valid. At the same time they are powerless. They just leave the entire deal on the situation; the situation controlling rather than you controlling the situation. In my opinion, "IF" imposes, it imposes conditionality. "BUT" defies, it defies possibility.

We are not afraid of what we can do rather we are afraid of what we cannot do.

So, if you are thinking, how do I break free from this tyranny? The solution is to be inspired. IFs and BUTs do not pollute the inspired heart.

Picture this…
==” I have a very beautiful wife”
==” I have a very good job”
==” I am a philosopher”
==” Everything is fine”