Golden Melodrama

O` Setting sun, behold the incredible

Let me capture the battle remnant,

of the twilight and the firmament;

Don`t let go, hold on to your vibrance

Spread your hue onto the golden sand

Let me highlight my masterly strokes

with the alacrity of a wizard`s wand

The birds drenched in the gold

let the story unfold

Let me capture the gorgeous play,

I have nothing else to say

My Urdu Nazm to the same post

The Demons in my Mind

Brightness and the dark are at war, both in a mood to kill. My eyes are numb,staring at nothingness for no apparent intellectual thrill. A reason to sleep and sometimes a reason to be awake. My dreams are no longer for sale, for I cease to buy.They do have fun,the demons in my mind.

As prisoners of affection and a victim of earthly laws; wonder why hearts are made. Nothing is permanent. I am told ,this is wisdom a man should learn. How love becomes a reason to smile and how sometimes it becomes a reason to cry. I am no longer perfect, for I cease to love. They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Fragments of hope here and there, the curve on my lips is very rare. How memories become a reason to rejoice and how sometimes they become a burden till eternity. My fantasies are no longer real, for I cease to imagine. They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Its an unending menace, their being demand a piece of my ever dwindling energy.Sanity sometimes prevails and the same sanity sometimes destroys what I am left with; my existence. My inspirations are no longer a treasure, for I cease to dream.They do have fun,the demons in my mind.

Laughing humanity, its tongue tied. A slave of expectation, my laurels are bartered. Truth always beseeching the truth. How conscience fears the silence and how sometimes silence fears the conscience.My life no longer gallops, for I cease to reign.They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

The heaviness in my head,the never ending cacophony.Shut up, Shut up; something shouts deep inside me. Numbness comes at a price and my feelings are way too poor.My logic is my biggest support and sometimes my biggest enemy. My thoughts are no longer my slaves, for I cease to rule. They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Satan whispers the tricks of the trade. Death, painless and quick in my fate. Its only the beginning that the end does fear. Funny are the laws of desire. I am no longer alive, for I cease to be immortal.They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Talk to me O` demons,I will tolerate you. Life provides an opportunity to triumph and sometimes an opportunity to lose. I am no longer human, for I cease to exist. I ain`t a demon though. I ain`t a demon though. Nevertheless have fun, O` the demons in my mind.

Tyranny of Ifs and Buts..Pun Intended

( see the previous post " Genius of the 'AND' " and " Tyranny of The 'OR' " )

Somebody commented on it about 'IF' producing similar effects. The below is my reply to it.

I do get it when you mention 'IF'. To be honest, we are limited not by our thoughts, but by the language of our thoughts. To be precise, we are limited by our own language.

To second what I said above; infants do what they want, what they will. They are instinctive and to top it, they are not limited. To think about it, they do not possess what we proudly flash as 'logic' and 'language'. Over the years, they become mature and GAIN the language of 'AND', 'OR', 'IF', 'BUT' and guess what, they LOSE what is innate; their fullest self expression. (The irony of 'gain' and 'lose'… if you got what I said. There is always a balance. You gain something to lose something. When I gain knowledge, I lose ignorance about that knowledge. When I gain money, I lose sleep over it. When I lose money, I gain sleeplessness :D, You don’t have a choice, you are sleepless anyways. )

Why we are the way we are is wholly a different topic all together. But to summarize it, every human being on planet earth wants to 'LOOK GOOD'. It is this factor that runs, which commands, all the facets of life.

We are slaves of what I call 'WHAT IS NOT' syndrome. We are slaves of money and ambition. Why? Is it because we do not possess it? As is said, every finish line is the beginning of a new race; there won’t be dearth of ambitions, unless you are a lunatic. As far as money is concerned, we tend to see” WHAT IS NOT" rather than "WHAT IS". It will never be enough.

Picture this.
=="IF I was handsome, I would have had a very beautiful wife"
=="IF I had studied well, I would have gotten a good job"
=="IF I was not a lunatic, I would have been a philosopher"...well, it does not matter much, philosophers are lunatics anyways.
==”IF everything goes fine, I will get what I want”

Now picture this,
==” I was handsome, BUT I did not get a beautiful wife”
==” I excelled in my studies, BUT I don’t have a good job”
==” I am not a lunatic, BUT I am not a philosopher”
==” Everything is fine, BUT I feel there is something missing”


Analyzing IFs and BUTs, they exist as a form in the past and in the future. "IF" is a tool for the mind to escape, to escape the inevitable. ”BUT” is a tool for the mind to invent, to invent reasons. They are very much valid. At the same time they are powerless. They just leave the entire deal on the situation; the situation controlling rather than you controlling the situation. In my opinion, "IF" imposes, it imposes conditionality. "BUT" defies, it defies possibility.

We are not afraid of what we can do rather we are afraid of what we cannot do.

So, if you are thinking, how do I break free from this tyranny? The solution is to be inspired. IFs and BUTs do not pollute the inspired heart.

Picture this…
==” I have a very beautiful wife”
==” I have a very good job”
==” I am a philosopher”
==” Everything is fine”

A Prisoner of Measurement

I look down on the jagged rocks,
leaning over a crooked cliff;
Stunningly beautiful expanse mocks,
at the melancholy whiff

Whispering wind, hymns of the stream,
Oblivion engulfs the beyond unseen;
Clouds dance in the red and yellow,
Humiliated emotions in a gloomy wallow

O fate, let me strike a deal;
Time did promise ,it will heal,
but my love was profound
and the hurt grows unbound

Depression is an accomplice,
deep inside me it does dwell;
My soul good at barter,
always finds a reason to sell

A need for life and a desire for death,
I take one last breath;
Pebbles roll on the perilous steep,
Beauty buzy in its mysterious weep

The sun shimmers into my deep eyes,
Tears, tumultous wind patiently dries
Silent was the falling smile,
heart does rapidly beat for a while

In the cosmic grip of everlasting laws,
relive all my happiness in that pause;
My existence scattered in the firmament,
I escape being a prisoner of measurement

My existence scattered in the firmament,
I escape being a prisoner of measurement

In The End I`ll Live

Melancholy darkness mourns,
the death of another day
Heavenly melody of birds,
in complete disarray

Troubled heart mourns,
the death of another hope
Distinct memories of laughter,
humid eyes unable to cope

The night has thousand eyes,
the day has but one,
The light of the bright world dies,
with the dying sun

The heart has thousand I`s
'YOU', it has but one,
The essence of the whole life dies
when the love is done

The sea rock braves, but dissolves
in the waves, powered by the tempest;
Reality hits me; alone I am standing
dissolving in the tears of understanding

You will find another love,
With pity and sympathy, I am told;
my fate laughs and tells me,
I will die alone

No longer will i cry
or ask for help from above
Nor O fate, I will forgive
But I know, in the end i`ll live

But I know, in the end i`ll live

--------------------------------------

I'd acknowledge Francis William Bourdillon, for he subconsciously inspired me with his thoughts for this poem..

My Reply To a Poem

(Thought I`ll comment on the poem written by a friend ,in the language that I know best ....)

FRIEND`S POEM
=============

Standing at your door !! Please open my dear !!

Though i stand at your door
i dont knock out of a little fear

It has been a long year
and i have been learning to keep this far

wishes once so demanding like a chilled opened beer
aging into wine getting smoother and smoother

the distace has vanished and my crazy cravings disappear
and i dont miss you that much any more.

for i have created a smiling you out of my little memoir
and my obsessions, in a weird rhythmic way i got over

The eye is not that playful any more
it's become steady and getting deeper.

I have grown a hairy beard and cut short my hair
and many times find you behind the mirror

I still stand like i used to at your door
though turned silent and dont knock out of a little fear.

but i dont know who you would like to meet an old friend or a stranger
and i have turned silent and dont knock out of a little fear.

Peep through the spying lens of the door
If you still find a friend plaese open my dear !!!


MY REPLY
========

The protagonist, behind closed doors...

I stare at the door,
feel the emptiness within;
I see it with a little tear,
making inroads through my skin

It`s been a long year
Why does he not drop by?
I am not sure,
Why doesn`t he knock and say 'hi'?

Wishes, once like a child,
waiting to be born
my cravings have become numb
and my heart is torn

I miss you a lot dear,
I`ll think of you till eternity
Let me revel,
in the pages of serenity

I ain`t myself anymore
how can i be?
thoughts though silent
I am just not me

Peep in my heart and listen to it beat
I am there near the door.
Please don`t fear;
If you still want a friend please knock,my dear

The Bird Story

( An attempt to get into something more creative )




It is minutes away from sunset. Feeling the warm tinge on my face, and me bathing in the golden, I realise the wind is at its mischievous best. The sun rays are playing hide and seek from behind the monument;like a kid waiting to get discovered .

I look towards the sky, and watch the lazy clouds go by.

My eyes fix on a lonely eagle; flapping its wings and gliding away to glory. For 10 minutes, it went on to discovering new pockets of air , making new patterns at ease. It was as if , it was dancing in the air with me being the choreographer.

I wondered why it was having fun alone? Is it searching for something? Where does it want to go? Something struck me, and I smiled. I realised that it was not alone, it had the sun, the wind, the high rise buildings and most importantly ME to give it company. It was just utilising each and every moment to the maximum.

It did find its partner after a while, and they flew high , very high to return to their abodes. Letting a sigh, I donno how long I then stared at the setting sun, wondering as to how I am gonna illuminate my lonely heart with its rays.....

In The Sands of Time !!!

A blanket of stars,
draping the scented beach;
Thoughts, beautiful, a few,
Them, left with no speech

Two lovers dressed in moonlight,
dancing beneath the dotted sky,
enchanting the beautiful night;
loneliness they sweetly defy

The winds rustic, the waves buoyant,
adding melody to the laughter ;
With the silver hair undone,
the magic had indeed begun

No mortal law to spoil the love,
Tired, knees in the sand, they lie
Smiles gracing crimson lips,
Drowning in the beauty of the eye

Up she rises to run with the wind
He, running closely behind
Chases her down, holds her hand
"I love you", and speaks his mind

Wrapped in their own light
The girl kisses the guy
A lovely sight and a hug, very warm
she, so cozy in his mighty arm

The universe bears the testament
to the love in its prime
A masterpiece is etched
In the sands of time

A masterpiece is etched
In the sands of time

--------------------------------------------

I'd like to acknowledge Arrica Wynn for her poem "Freedom" and inspiring me to write this piece - I picked a couple of lines from her poem http://www.poetrysoup.com/poems_poets/best/1358/arrica_wynn

ME??-WOW-I AM JUST AN AMAZING PRODUCT-WELL, WE ALL ARE!!!

"What do two atoms give?” quite an innocent question from my brother. A champ at chemistry that I was, at the dining table, I exclaimed “Molecule!! "." What do two molecules give?" was the next question. "Well, Compounds!!!” was my reaction. "What do two compounds give?” I was getting tired of it now. To put an end to it, I choked out "US!!!” There was silence. Little did I realize that I had opened up another box of pandemonium inside my head.

A net friend, curious on my userID asked me “So, do you like PANDEMONIUM?". My reply was on these lines, " I don’t like it, but I am intrigued by it coz it is the starting point of something inside my head that ultimately gives rise to UTOPIA; and I love being in there". As to how I jumped from pandemonium to utopia in the chemistry case, is intriguing in itself.

To begin with, for me to be me , trillions of drifting atoms had to somehow assemble in an intricate and obliging manner; to get to an arrangement so specialized and particular that it had never been tried before and it will exist only this once. For the next many years ( I hope so ) these atoms will uncomplainingly engage themselves in all the billions of deft, co-operative efforts necessary to keep me intact and let me experience the supremely agreeable but generally under appreciated state known as existence.

Why this trouble is taken is shrouded in mystery. Being me, myself, is not a gratifying experience at the atomic level. For all their devoted attention, my atoms don’t actually care about me. Indeed, they don’t even know that I am there. Lol, they don’t even know they are there. They are just mindless particles. Yet, when my time is near, they will betray me , then silently disassemble and go off to other things. As for the period of my existence, they will answer to a single rigid impulse, to keep me ME.

There is something very strikingly odd though. The same atoms that so liberally and congenially flocks together to form ME on planet earth are exactly the same atoms those decline to do it elsewhere in the universe. At the level of chemistry, life is fantastically mundane; You would need carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, calcium, sulphur, other ordinary elements (what did i miss? ) to create ME; elements very gettable from the nearby pharmacy. I guess the very special thing about the atoms that make ME is that they make ME. Welcome to the miracle of life.

So thank goodness (or rather godness ) for atoms. But guess what, the fact that atoms so willingly assemble to form ME is just a part of the story. To be here now , typing, and smart enough to know it , I had to be the beneficiary of an extraordinary string of biological good fortune.

Life on earth is kinda brief. It is a curious feature of our existence that we come from a planet that is very good at promoting life but even better at extinguishing it. Not only have I been lucky enough to be attached since time immemorial to a favored evolutionary line, but also have been extremely ( in fact miraculously ) fortunate in my personal ancestry. For a period of time older than the earth’s mountains, rivers and oceans, every one of my fore bearers on both sides has been attractive enough to find a partner, healthy enough to reproduce, and sufficiently blessed by fate and circumstances to live long enough to do so. Not one of them was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, wounded or otherwise deflected from the life’s quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment to perpetuate the only sequence of hereditary combination that could result ( astoundingly and all too briefly) ; THAT IS MEeee. ( Don’t you guys think of it as something Godly? Don`t you get that kick here? Well, when I thought about it, I said 'wow')

Well, that is how I happened (That is how you all happened) .And that is how I reached from pandemonium to utopia in my head, with the feel good factor tugging me. I guess I will come across another stage of pandemonium in the near future. For now, atoms, my friend, carry on what you do the best, carry on making me ME, undisturbed.

HOW NASR HUSAMI GOT PISSED, GOT WILD, AND GOT A LIFE

Like all other days, today was not normal; It was way more than crazy. There were two incidents that happened that beautifully sums up the ridiculous. It’s got to do with the traffic clogger, The APSRTC BUS.

The morning was very fine, me in an upbeat mood riding my bike; till I came across this traffic stop. I stop myself near the left of this bus, a bus with relatively few people inside; waiting for the signal to turn green.

How would I have had ever realized that the craziness would take its roots then. On the green, I race my bike to get a move on, on my side of the road. I picked some speed and had gotten a little far. It was then that through the corner of my eye, I see someone jump on me. By some stroke of luck, my reflexes were not screwed up. I swerved, no idea where. Before I realized what had happened, I was on the pavement licking somebody’s foot. My slain bike was adding to the charm of the roadside stall. The culprit was squatted on the road trying to figure out as to what sort of lightning hit him. As I got up I recollected the scene in the movie “The Pursuit of Happyness “with the dialogues " Hey, ass****" , " Are you alright , ass****" . The dolt returned the favor of my courtesy by jumping on my bike, grabbing the keys and confronting me, looking down on my face.

Anybody with a wild imagination would guess what had happened. The brainless monkey had the nerve to jump from a running bus without even pausing a moment and thinking where he was gonna land. And now he had the audacity to confront me and hold me at fault. I was pissed; I did get a life (of course, you would not have been reading this otherwise). Both of us, including the bike were miraculously alright. Now I did something which I never did before to a stranger...I got wild. (l guess some unpleasant things in life happen for the first time without an invitation ). Confronted; I held him by his collar, my helmet held in an attacking mode, and shot out some lingo abuse.(yes, its censored here)..Well, he was equally competent. It wasn’t until the crowd that had gathered there( probably, to get their share of fun ) interrupted and made him realize his folly through more abuses; he returned my keys.

Another crazy incident happened as I was returning home the same day. It was to do with another idiot from the bus. Now this bald gherkin could not control his urge to spit his 'paan'. As he could not do this favor on the other baldy sitting opposite him or on the lady next to him, he spits outside. You need no prizes for guessing where the yuck falls. Yours truly was at the butt of another joke.

I was madly pissed, I was wild and I wanted to get a life, away from the crazy road and the buses. I decide to counter this stupidity through my Machine named 'TAME THE MONKEY'. Here is roughly how it should work.

1. All buses should have spittometers attached to the window frame. As soon as the dolt spits, the processor based system should pass an electric signal to the electrodes beneath his bus seat; the moment he commits the folly, the butts would bear the brunt of his urge.

2. All buses should have a robotic hand near the door. The moment a dolt tries to jump like a monkey and commit a suicide, it should grab him from mid air, push him inside the bus and give him a sound thrashing.

The whole thing may sound ridiculous but it’s actually possible. We already have the technology and the ability to do it. It’s just that nobody gave a thought about it yet, until I was graced by the jumping jack and the wet paan. We can patent it. Anybody interested can get in touch with me and I’ll pay for the project. (Don’t you people feel better already?)

So, till the project is taken up and completed, I would pass a request to the government of Andhra Pradesh to paint every side of the APSRTC bus with the sign "Keep Distance --Loonies Inside"

(You all let me know if you need any clarification. It is 1:45 in the night and I typed this whole thing with a hazy mind. I initially wanted to make a figure for the machine, but I am too sleepy to do it....yawn......yaaaaawwwnnnn......damn you buses!!!)